Ex- English skipper Lewis Moody has revealed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet confront the full consequences of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was involved in the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and won multiple English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after discovering he has the condition.
"There's an element of confronting what lies ahead and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the moment," he commented.
"This doesn't mean I fail to comprehend where it's heading. We understand that. But there is definitely a hesitation to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, talking alongside his wife Annie, says rather he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his present welfare, his family and getting ready for when the illness deteriorates.
"Possibly that's trauma or possibly I handle situations differently, and when I have the facts, it's simpler," he stated further.
First Symptoms
Moody found out he had MND after detecting some weakness in his shoulder area while exercising in the gym.
After physical therapy failed to improve the issue, a number of scans revealed nerve cells in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You're presented with this condition identification of MND and we're appropriately quite emotional about it, but it's quite odd because I think I'm perfectly healthy," he continued.
"I don't feel sick. I don't sense unwell
"My symptoms are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle loss in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I'm still able to doing anything and everything. And with luck that will persist for as long as is possible."
Illness Development
MND can progress quickly.
As per the organization MND Association, the condition takes the lives of a 33% of people within a 365 days and more than half within two years of detection, as eating and breathing become harder.
Therapy can only delay worsening.
"It's not me that I am upset for," added an moved Moody.
"There's sadness around having to inform my mum - as an only child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Household Effect
Talking from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overcome with sentiment when he discussed informing his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the traumatic news, saying: "That represented the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was quite devastating," Moody stated.
"We were seated on the settee in crying, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog jumped over and began cleaning the drops off our faces, which was quite funny."
Moody said the emphasis was being in the now.
"There exists no treatment and that is why you have to be so intensely directed on just welcoming and appreciating all aspects now," he commented.
"As Annie said, we've been very lucky that the only real determination I made when I retired from playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as possible. We can't reclaim those years back."
Player Connection
Professional sportspeople are disproportionately influenced by MND, with investigations indicating the rate of the condition is up to 600% elevated than in the broader public.
It is believed that by reducing the oxygen accessible and creating injury to nerve cells, frequent, intense physical activity can initiate the illness in those inherently genetically susceptible.
Rugby Playing Days
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in recognition of his courageous, unwavering style to the game.
He participated through a bone injury of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once caused a workout scuffle with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he left a practice gear and started participating in physical contacts.
After appearing as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the back of the set piece in the decisive phase of play, setting a foundation for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the victory-securing drop kick.
Backing System
Moody has previously notified Johnson, who captained England to that championship, and a couple of other former team-mates about his condition, but the rest will be discovering his news with the rest of public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the moment, just having that kind of care and recognition that people are there is the crucial thing," he said.
"The sport is such a excellent group.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even if it ended now, I've valued all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"Being able to call your love your career, it's one of the greatest privileges.
"To have done it for so long a time with the teams that I did it with was a delight. And I am aware they will wish to support in any way they can and I look forward to having those conversations."
